Really?? who are they trying to convince

Does mental illness really exist?

OK, so I was looking this up today and was shocked my some of the things people were writing about it..

First one I read that stood out!

There are no tests on the brain they can do to to determine any mental health, OK, that true, yes, but next came, and there is no proof that mental illness is caused my an chemical imbalance so psychiatrists need to stop telling their patients that it's caused by chemical imbalance.. I read this in 4 different places..

Lets re track

Depression is treated with an anti depression because of a chemical imbalance of serotonin...
Serotonin is a chemical found in the human body. It carries signals along and between nerves - a neurotransmitter. It is mainly found in the brain, bowels and blood platelets.


If you’re feeling pessimistic, sad, distrustful, unconfident, or have panic attacks, you may have a serotonin deficiency.
So these are signs of depression, right? You also can also suffer constipation when your depressed because of a lack of serotonin in your bowel..

So now they are saying there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance, so what the hell is in the anti--depressants we take then? If they're not actually sure about chemical imbalances? Is it actually doing us any harm when they know so little about it? Something to think about eh?


Another thing


They are saying there is a big attack on weather mental health actually exist?

OK, this is coming from psychiatrists, but what does it say in my last point? There are no brain tests or chemical tests that can be preformed on the brain too, so how possibly could they say it doesn't exist? Why would they study for years in one to just come out with mental health doesn't exist? They wouldn't have a job if it was proven? Well, I know for a fact it exist, don't I so that would never happen?

Maybe the government is paying them to say it so they don't have to pay out for disability anymore, you have to admit the government are trying to stop disability even for people with cancer?? What the fuck is that about.. But that's for another day, I will cover personal independence payment and disability soon

Have a read if you like, just put in google does mental illness really exist?

I'm quite shocked about it, they sound they really don't have a clue, so how do you know they are giving right treatment?

Viewers are welcome, id love to hear your view on this?

Are you taking mental health, medication?

Feeling a bit agitated :@

losing my patience a little

OK, I'm not obsessing over page views, etc. but it is nice to know how far this blog is getting out there.. The further it goes the more people it reaches and that my main point of this blog..


But I found out today blogger stats are wrong? They count bots and robots? Really with all the technology they have they can't tell the difference between human and robots? Blogger is run by google? I find this hard to believe.. I suppose they don't want to spend money on a program for it..
This isn't very good for bloggers is it?



Another thing I have today found out that people can't comment, I am working on this issue, so I have been asking you all to comment and you can't, what a twat I look lol.. So ill apologize for this.. But I am sorting it.. Not as easy as I thought.. I have had to add my granddad to sort web design etc out for me.. He is as we speak trying to sort these issues..


Could I ask people to keep trying if you want to actually leave a comment so it will help knowing when it is actually fixed..

I just round out from someone that managed to comment, you need to actually go to the website not if you have found this page from a link.. I had to enable something else but I now believe it is working

I came across something today about does mental illness really exist? I'll cover the shocking results I have read in my next post

Thanks to all my readers and ones that keep returning..

Keep well
:) x

Anxiety

Ever suffered from anxiety and panic attacks?

 I really do understand people that have gone off sick from work due to it.. I think anxiety is a still a very misunderstood thing. People don't empathize with it very much.. Until you have suffered it there is no way you could even begin to image what kind of life a person is living when they have it. I think even health professional takes this very lightly compared to other mental health issues..



 I'll share with you how I deal with panic attacks..




If I feel I'm getting a bit of anxiety and I suspect one is going to come.. I shout 'STOP' in my head. Sometimes it doesn't work so then I just say to myself, OK, that's fine the panic attack is not going to hurt me so just go with it.. I find then you're in a little bit more control. If it wants to be a bitch of a panic attack out comes the water, I drink it and splash my face with it.



I was only suffering a cycle a couple months back and someone made a very reassuring point to me, when you have a panic attack your heart races like at work out. So your loses calories threw every panic attack you have ;) so if like me, you can suffer up to 10 a day think about how many calories you are losing :)



Even though you think a panic attack can harm you can't. I feel like I'm going to die on some of mine.. Horrible.. I know that my anxiety has calmed down now because I can mention anxiety without getting it :)



I think this is a very stressful world and very fast, no wonder people suffer anxiety, even people with just slight anxiety I feel for.. Anxiety is anxiety and it can affect your life so much..




I have a book that I can recommend, a doctor recommended it to me that had anxiety and depression during any and he read it :)

 It's called 'The chimps paradox’ by professor Steve Peters...

He believes are behavior is similar to monkeys and they can study monkey brain more than can with ours..



The brain is such a powerful thing and can play tricks on you with you having no control.. That's what I'd like to remind to people that really don't understand mental health. Yes, your mind can control you with you losing control.. Just because it's your mind doesn't mean you can control it at all times.


I have added a follow button to my page on requests from readers.. So feel free to use it :)

Thanks guys :) 

A little change in subject.

Need a little break from topic bi polar

I was talking to someone this evening about marriage and I'd like to share something with you all.

Has the commitment of marriage thought so low of these days?




I’ll explain why I think this?


I was having a tattoo done a couple of months ago of my nan that I explained I lost. At the time I thought id get one of my partner's name.. Yes, I know what most of you are thinking, wow I’d never get a name on me. :) But I think I was a bit manic but I don't regret it, I made him go in and have a massive one after don't worry, lol.



So anyway, I was having the nan tattoo done and the tattooist said to me are you sure about having a partner's name for you, I like to ask all my clients first..”yes, I don't want to get married so it's the next best thing isn't it?” I replied. He looked at me shocked. Get what he said a tattoo is for life though?





A tattoo is for life???
Am I a bit lost here? Isn't marriage a promise for life? Am I wrong? I thought it was a promise that you would stay together until death?


Are we really not taking marriage that serious anymore. I won't get married on the term of that.. I don't like breaking promises, and I don't really think you can make that promise, so I choose not to get married. 




Plus for me, it's a piece of paper that cost like ten grand lol.. I’d rather take my kids, Disneyland for that, deposit on a house etc.. But that's just me..




I don't expect all of you to agree with me on this one, but id love to hear your views on it?

 Are we really looking at marriage so differently now. It's almost as that person thought, oh it's OK, you can get a divorce but a tattoo is branded?




Some feedback on what marriage means to you would be great :)



Maybe it is just me lol



  


Thanks guys :) 

a little video :)

Sorry for the mess I look guys but, I'm not going to go put make up on etc just to do a video :)
so this is me :) crazy as a coconut :) lol x

Manics

What manics are about!

 The Manics are they kind of feeling you're on drugs it is classed as a high.. I’ll explain..


You become confident, you are in love with yourself, there is nothing in this world you couldn't do. You will achieve very idea that comes into your head, you will start them all and be best at it. The amount of times over the years I have tried to write books, applied for college, for many different courses, tried setting up own business, none of these even get finished, but you obsess over them you could stay awake 3-4 days in a row working on it then it gets binned. You repeat on another project.




There are bad traits as well you get impatient, I’ll get that bad if I'm queuing I’ll say something like 'is there no urgency in this place when I only be waiting three minutes.. You get angry very easily.



 I think the reason for this is you have so many thoughts running through your head all the time, you can't switch off and it's so fast everything else has to be fast around you. You get very agitated and you don't even realize most of the time..




I will share with you my symptoms and behavior of my last last manic, which wasn't so long ago  It's the first manic I actually recognized quicker than any of my others, but again I did things that just wasn't acceptable..




The first thing looking back, I noticed to be the first sign of a manic coming was my sight and smell.. It was heightened I actually panicked because the outside looked so bright, like green is greener etc.. I could smell smells that nobody else could, now I know this is a start of a manic



 A week  later the project come. I wanted to decorate my whole house, but I needed someone to take me to get the paint, nobody could.. The impatience started, I was ringing my mum 15 times a day (another sign of manic, constantly contacting people) I ended up falling out with my mum, by going mad at her that I don't ask for a lot and one bloody thing on one can do for me.




The paint project didn't even get started. So next came gambling £500 oops. That still didn't relieve my manic so the next night I was at home and drink two bottles of wine. I tried to ring people at 1am but no one wanted to talk. I needed to talk, my kids and partner was in bed, so I got dressed at went to an all night pub.. 

Everything was fine, I was just talking to people, when next thing you know a bloke part of the group I was talking to grabbed my boob. I told him to sod off. He did it again. I warned him one more time I won't be responsible for my actions.. He did.. I lost it flipped out punched him in the face.. He fell back and I booted him in the face. I was pulled off by this Friends before it went any further, but it would of.. Two of his friends walked me home.. Which was very nice of them, but I had to be home for 6 six because my partner had worked. It was half 7. So you can image the trouble I got in when I got home and two lads walking me home.





I was still saying for a week later that I did nothing wrong, so overall that manic lasted a month.. It was until I came back down off my high I realized how much worse that night could of gone.

 So that is an example of a manic.





 Next I’ll cover depression, I know people are very aware of depression but with bipolar the depression can be a lot darker.




 Please if anyone wants me to cover anything, questions answered, ect.. Please leave a comment or mail me..
I would like to keep you all interested, so some input on what you would like to know about this illness or any examples would be welcomed



Thank you guys

Meeting new people..

Is it hard or easy to meet new people with bipolar..

Before I can even think about what I have said. It somewhat don't sit well with them :) They haven't even asked and it just pops into my mind and out it comes. I will be like it with a haircut, parenting skills, anything that doesn't look right or isn't something I feel is right.. 




A little too opinionated is what they call it just to be nice, but no I'm very opinionated, and I offended people. I know this, but I just can't stop.. Why? Like i have said in posts before, you go a bit like that when you are manic. I think the traits just overlaps into your personality.. Maybe if I didn't have bipolar I would just been a little opinionated, but I'm not.



My family and friends don't tend to ask me how things look, unless deep down they know they look good.. I will tell you well whether you ask or not really if it doesn't look right, and I don't hold back.. But is that good thing? 



My view is if you ask the question you have to be prepared for the answer. Would you rather I say oh it looks lovely and let you go out looking like a tit. I think sometimes I oh I was a bit harsh there, I should've worded that better, but I won't dwell on it it's been said. 



Another thing with meeting new people is I’ll tell them personal things, like arguments with partner, things he says sometimes ect.. 
But when you are angry at someone you never say good about them do you.. So I tell them all this then I take him back. I think I did tell people too much about my personal life, but again it's just me. So when I keep taking my partner back after all the nasty things I have said that he done ect, they distance themselves from me..


I think other things are depression when I'm depressed I don't talk to anyone. I won't answer calls, text nothing, this could be for months. Then I’ll ring up like nothing has happened.


So you see I probably don't come across as a very nice person unless you know me, so meeting new people is a hard task. Out of ten people I would meet, only one would stay, but in the distance? So I tell myself it's not worth it. Within six months of meeting them new people, they will be gone anyway and they know everything about you, so you just look a twat :) 




Maybe now I'm diagnosed it might be easier because I have the label that explains a lot I suppose, so maybe it would be a bit easier meeting new people. I’ll have to let you know how or if it does change now :) 




Hope you're all well
Thanks guys :) 

Overwhelmed

I didn't expect this at all..

I would just like to say a big thank you to everyone that has viewed my page. I am above any views that I thought I’d ever get on such a hard topic..

Some of you have messaged me some wonderful things. Many have said i'm brave sharing this kind of thing. I wouldn't call it brave I would say its just its me.

I have have a mental illness that isn't my fault that has made me do some outrageous things that the called 'normal person' wouldn't dream of doing..

Why should I be ashamed of this? I have spent a lot of my life feeling regret, being judge by people, getting talked about behind my back.

So if I tell the world myself there is nothing more anybody can say about me. People can judge me all they want but now I'm allowing you by writing this. I give you my permission

I have only had great feed back tho so far. Of course I'm expecting bad but I'm overwhelmed by the visits and the great messages.

I have just had a message of someone saying I'm very hard on myself I think that's another bipolar trait, It comes with the consent negative thinking.

When you have suffered an illness so long I believe your brain just programs to certain traits and you become them anyway even if you are classed as stable. my mind has been up and down, unstable, stable, so many times in my life of course its going to affect the actual person I am now.

Would I change myself. maybe not have bipolar but I love the traits about me. I am loyal, caring, head strong, loving and if I didn't have bipolar would I still be that person? You never know..

I made a promise with myself not long after i found out about my bipolar, i was not going to sit there and dwell on the fact of it, think about it as a bad thing or let myself go over the fact that my life could been different if i didn't have it..

I have it and that's it. Now I believe there are loads of good things about people like us we are unique

Thanks again guy.. :)  

Bipolar affecting children??

So what are my views??

I think bipolar does affect children in the same way it does relationships.  My little bit of hope in that is that because they would of known mummy like this all their life, it won't affect them so much.. They wouldn't know mummy any different would they? 


I do hate the fact that my children are more for their dad as I have been poorly for the last ten months of having my twins. They go to him for everything now, even a drink, they don't ask me anymore. 


If my children wake in the night they shout for daddy as I won't hear them on my medication as quick as what my partner does.
I do also think they go to him because he is a soft touch, so they play us as children do.



The dreaded one for me is if my children have it, I try not to think about, but I'm a mother I am going to aren't I? 


It's hereditary, you see, so my children do have a high chance of having it.
I sit there sometimes at night think if they have it, have I failed them? If I found out sooner would I have had children? I think if my children do turn out to have it, I will see the symptoms earlier and then maybe they wouldn't have the battle I had for 15 years. So that keeps me positive




I think about their responses to it as well will they blame? Of course they would of inherited from me so why not blame? It's quite scary isn't it? To think like that, your children blaming you for something that wasn't your fault.





I think that's a downside to, if I seen symptoms I would help them and maybe that would be too young to deal with that? They would have to blame someone, because of being young?. But all I can do is what my family do is be there if they do inherit it. 



I feel because I have had so many episodes in such a short time due to after my pregnancies I have lost a bit of a bond with my older two. I feel they don't know how to approach me anymore, never know what mood I'm going to be in, the funny mummy, the moody mummy, and so on.




That breaks my heart a little.. But they are still young, so there plenty of time to rebuild once I'm totally settled with medication.. 





You see I try to be positive and I know many people lead a 'normal' life being bipolar, but when there are children you have to think about the chances of them having it. What if they have it worse than me is another one? Could I handle seeing my children worse than what I was knowing they got it from me? 


So yeah, it does effect my children more so than my relationship. But my children are happy at the moment they have their daddy that gives them everything, and their mummy that does the special things in life. I make sure I do something nice everyday for my children no matter how bad I'm feeling so that they know I'm still there :)

That's my last post for today :) 




Next I’ll talk about meeting new people :) 




This one should make you laugh.



Thank you to everyone that is following my posts and to all the new ones taking time to read. I'm shocked by how much interest I actually have.




Keep well and safe guys 
:) 

Oh i need a little rant :)

Really what is the point in this?

So I am part of bipolar uk support forum. I posted my blog on there for people to read.

Maybe they would relate to my behaviors, friends or family could understand more about bipolar from someone that open enough to talk about.

I got some very good hits from it. Now they deleted my post?? why because your not to give blogs out on there site? UMM why is this? I thought they were a support team? Its not like I could take there over 1m people that are part of them is it? They are more for advice i'm more for sharing experiences.

Why are they not promoting someone to be honest and open about their illness?? they should be supporting things like this surely? I'm very proud of myself for starting this with how much I have going on in my life shouldn't they be?

This internet malarkey baffles me to be honest.

I'm a little blogger not a business what the hell is the problem bipolar uk??

What's your views on this guys?

OK rant over back to more advertising now that I lost a big one :)