Wednesday, 5 August 2015
leaving someone when your bipolar
What if your bipolar and need to leave a relationship?
I see written, everywhere online about advice how to leave someone that suffers mental health. What about us when we need to leave someone?
Is it really hard to leave someone with mental health issues? I suppose it is, when it's just because of there mental health, because you know it's not there fault. Maybe you just can't deal with it anymore.
But what about advice for us?
* You may be in a relationship that making your bipolar worse, but leaving will trigger you even more.
* You may feel the other person didn't sign up for this, when you are ill.
* You may feel that you do not make your partner happy.
It's always a hard decision to leave somebody without mental health issues being involved.
I believe it's very hard for us to leave a relationship. If your anything like me, this is the steps I go through when I leave someone.
* I get the I don't care attitude, it's time to leave them.
* Next comes the oh did I do the right thing?
* Then the regret, then I keep contacting them
* Then realize it can't be undone
* Then comes the depression.
I believe it can be very hard for us to leave someone, as we change or minds so many times.. One minute we love them, next we hate them.
They always say you cant really make decisions when you are depressed, you can't make decisions when your manic, but this is where I tend to make my decisions more and it bites me on the ass..
I have seen this posted everywhere I don't think my partner is happy anymore. I think I need to leave him to set him free.
What do I think of this?
* We nearly always tend to think negative, so it could be possible your over thinking.
* People will not stay in a unhappy relationship for so long, it's human instinct to leave something that's making you unhappy. It's probably that you make them unhappy sometimes, but the good times weighs over the bad :)
* People that love people take on and handle a lot, if they don't they don't love you.
* I don't think you should leave another person because you think, you make them unhappy. That's taking away their decisions and you could be very wrong.
* Unless they have actually told you, I wouldn't act upon a thought
If you read that advice and are still set on leaving your partner I would advice this
* Make sure your in a stable mind.
* Be 100% sure not 99%
* Speak to family and close friends before you act upon it.
* Have all support ready for when you do leave
* I would warn your care team about your plan
Why do I advice this, because I believe we do so many hasty things being bipolar and not all things can be reversed.
I think if your 100% sure and you thought about it for few months, your more unlikely to regret it or suffer an episode..
If your're not 100%, the likeliness is your will regret it and may have an episode, if thing can't be reversed.
Leaving a relationship is just the same as grief, weather you wanted it or not, you still have to grieve. That's a major trigger for bipolar and that's why I cant stress enough that you have to be 100% sure.
I can't give you the answers of how to deal with leaving someone when your bipolar. Sometimes people may have to do it for their own health.
I would say still follow the steps and remember that if you are leaving for your own health, that you may feel better instead of being on a roller-coaster because a partner triggers bipolar.
Which some do. My partner can trigger mine sometimes, but its not very often anymore, now I'm on medication.
I hope this post does help and saves some of us doing irrational things. I first hand know myself, when I'm mind set, I act. I don't think of the repercussions.. That's why I wrote this post..
Keep well guys x