Well reading my story what do you think?
I am currently receiving disability and my partner is a carer of me.. Was it as easy to get as some people out there think it is? No..
You need a lot of supporting evidence, You need to undergo a medical, which is near on impossible to pass. I had to go to a charity that was specialized in helping people who qualify for the benefit but have been refused.
I was turned down the first time..
I tell you why..
* I stated that I don't cook a meal for myself, my partner does, if he don't i don't eat.. People can put this down to laziness its not it just, you don't care if you eat or not.. I'm like that stable because of the amount of times I go without eating for days.. Its easy for me not to eat.
* I started that I live on takeaways if I'm depressed and don't really eat nutritious food. Which I don't.. I crave junk when depressed, my fridge be full of food but I wont eat it.. I'll order takeaway.
They stated in my medical I was of a medium build and in no way look malnourished.. Maybe I'm carrying weight because I have had four children in four years and one was a set twins that I only gave birth to 6 months previous.
* I stated that when I am depressed I stay in pj's all day wont get get dressed, wont take care of my hygiene very well.. I just don't bother, i wont even brush my hair.. Its not out of dirtiness, just you got so lack of self worth that you feel there is no point.
They started in my medical I was dressed for the occasion appropriate clothes for the weather, my clothes were clean, I was clean.. so they didn't award me for that.
So lets think here I am going out in public I'm going wear filthy clothes, and if I don't that means I don't suffer depression?
* I stated that I can't manage my medication which I couldn't, I had to have social services threaten me, before I started taking it.
They stated in my medical I had knowledge about my medication to this suggest she can cope with medication herself.
So because I have knowledge about what my medication does mean I can manage it?
My partner reminds me every night to take my medication, when I was doing it myself I kept forgetting if I actually took and panicked myself I took twice.
* I stated that I do not manage money well, which I don't I will gamble, waste money, etc when I'm on a manic.. I'll spend £200 pound and not batter an eyelid about it.
They said there was no evidence of this..
* I stated that I cannot communicate with people very well if depressed or manic.. Depressed I don't talk to anyone, I wont even answer my phone. Manic I talk so fast and keep going off subjects that people find it hard to talk to me..
I got scored on that one, because in the medical, I was a little bit manic.
* I stated I don't go anywhere alone, they said "but your here?" I was with my my mum? They said but can go out if someone is with so you can lead a normal life?
What relying on people to come with me everywhere I go? That's leading a normal life?
* I stated that when I'm depressed I will bath but ill just sit in there not wash, just lay there.. Water seem to clear my mind..
They responded to that, as but you can get in and out of the bath.. I need promoting when i'm depressed to get dressed, go out., to wash, etc. but because I can use a bath I didn't get scored on it?
I understand that people out there try the benefit system and lie, just to get more money. Maybe that
why they have made the medical near on impossible to pass.
I see a psychiatrist and they are like gold dust, there aren't many around.. they are hard to get under, if i was mental OK there is no way id see one.
What do I conclude of this
If you turn up to a medical stinking, skinny with bones showing, pale and ill with lack of nutritionist dirty clothes, can totally not communicate, basically near on getting sectioned.. They will award..
Should it be like that? They understand what bipolar is they are medically trained in this, else they wouldn't be doing the medicals. so why do they make it so difficult? They know how hard it is to live with bipolar. why would they just want to add more stress.
Its not like we are going in saying that we have a bad back and blatantly haven't.
I understand that anyone can say there are bipolar. but you have to have medical evidence, so you cant lie?
It was so stressful trying to get personal independence payment.. I finally got awarded it because of the charity that helped me.. he went though the medical with a fine tooth pick and picked out everything they contradicted them self with..
I ended up getting the standard rate for my communication, over spending and my manics. I scored the lowest score to get it,
Another thing I think it goes on is the case worker you get, some are harder than others.. I believe they should all be the same.
I am not saying I'm going to be on disability for the rest of my life, I really don't want to be.. I have always worked and I enjoying working it just the issues I have work due to bipolar. maybe when its totally managed I'll be better in the work environment
Its trial and error in the first year or so of getting diagnosed.. I feel I'm getting use to my tablets already and they not working as well as they did. I have to up them this week anyway so maybe that will help. what happens if I do just get use to the medication they give me?
You see you never know when an episode is going to just appear that's part of bipolar. I would like to feel and be stable for a while before I even think about work..
I have had a hard 15 years and its nice just to feel better in yourself,, I don't want to rush myself and be back to square one, because I didn't give myself time
Can you understand that?
I don't like being on benefits when there are people out there working so hard and only just paying there way. Me and my partner have been there, it makes people frustrated at the people on benefits because they are paying for us to be.. I fully understand that.
I need to do this for my family though to get myself better, I need my partner home. medication doesn't cure everything its mind management as well, its also how stable of your life, my life is very stable with my partner being home. when he is working and I'm looking four children by myself I become unstable.
I know thinking some of you are thinking?
Why did you have four children?.. I got caught on the conception pill. I didn't plan another baby let alone 2.. but it happened and I don't get away with it lightly trust me four children is very hard work.. its a full time job in its self..
So what is my aim for the future, get myself better, to be able to cope with my children by myself, so my partner can return to work. Me maybe finding a low key job that I don't have to interact with many people. That's my aim, but its weather bipolar works with me to achieve that aim :)
Hope your all well guys :)