Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Bipolar affecting children??

So what are my views??

I think bipolar does affect children in the same way it does relationships.  My little bit of hope in that is that because they would of known mummy like this all their life, it won't affect them so much.. They wouldn't know mummy any different would they? 

I do hate the fact that my children are more for their dad as I have been poorly for the last ten months of having my twins. They go to him for everything now, even a drink, they don't ask me anymore. 

If my children wake in the night they shout for daddy as I won't hear them on my medication as quick as what my partner does.

I do also think they go to him because he is a soft touch, so they play us as children do.

The dreaded one for me is if my children have it, I try not to think about, but I'm a mother I am going to aren't I? 

It's hereditary, you see, so my children do have a high chance of having it.

I sit there sometimes at night think if they have it, have I failed them? If I found out sooner would I have had children? I think if my children do turn out to have it, I will see the symptoms earlier and then maybe they wouldn't have the battle I had for 15 years. So that keeps me positive

I think about their responses to it as well will they blame? Of course they would of inherited from me so why not blame? It's quite scary isn't it? To think like that, your children blaming you for something that wasn't your fault.

I think that's a downside to, if I seen symptoms I would help them and maybe that would be too young to deal with that? They would have to blame someone, because of being young?. But all I can do is what my family do is be there if they do inherit it. 

I feel because I have had so many episodes in such a short time due to after my pregnancies I have lost a bit of a bond with my older two. I feel they don't know how to approach me anymore, never know what mood I'm going to be in, the funny mummy, the moody mummy, and so on.

That breaks my heart a little.. But they are still young, so there plenty of time to rebuild once I'm totally settled with medication.. 

You see I try to be positive and I know many people lead a 'normal' life being bipolar, but when there are children you have to think about the chances of them having it. What if they have it worse than me is another one? Could I handle seeing my children worse than what I was knowing they got it from me? 

So yeah, it does effect my children more so than my relationship. But my children are happy at the moment they have their daddy that gives them everything, and their mummy that does the special things in life. I make sure I do something nice everyday for my children no matter how bad I'm feeling so that they know I'm still there :)

That's my last post for today :) 

Next I’ll talk about meeting new people :) 

This one should make you laugh.

Thank you to everyone that is following my posts and to all the new ones taking time to read. I'm shocked by how much interest I actually have.

Keep well and safe guys 

1 comment:

sarah said...

feel free to write a comment you words are of value :)