Why I believe we can attract me wrong kind of people.
I had a comment from a reader, She was very brave to feel the confidence to write about her bipolar on my blog. So well done again :)
This lady mentioned that she always attracted the wrong type, the same as I stated in my post My personality.
Why do we though?
Well of course we have obvious reason like we attract people that have similar traits to us, but that’s not always a bad thing, as I stated with me being with my partner.
I have have met people from all walk of like, I am not a judgement person at all. I just look for good in everyone, I would find good in the most evilest person out there.. Crazy I know, but I can’t help it.
That's what makes us vulnerable, and I know that it is a nice word, but it’s only like that because we don’t look at things in the same way as everyone else.
I believe people see that in us and I’m afraid people take advantage of that. It’s a cruel world, It really is. I always use to believe I could change it, just me by myself, make this world a better place.
I wanted everyone to be as giving and caring as I was. Obviously, I got older seen more and more of the wrong doing. Especially what people do other people in this world, and realized it just way out of control, for anyone to fix.
I am always a firm believer in be person, you want this world to be. One of my favorite songs, is Michael Jackson, man in the mirror.
Unfortunately we aren’t all like that, That’s why we become targets. People lie, manipulate our kindness, do anything to get what they want out of us. We believe they honestly care about us, It’s not in our nature to think someone being so nice would do that.
I think we attract wrong people, because we try to help anyone. I see someone going downhill, wrong path in life. I try to help, it hardly ever works, because in reality people only help themselves.
Of course we do meet genuine people, they are our friends, our long term partners. Even now though I still meet wrong people, and I have accepted I probably always will..
I just walk away from them after I been mistreated and think do you know what, It's not my fault, you aren’t a nice person that took advantage of me. People always show their true colours in the end.
Can we stop meeting these types of people?
I didn’t, I was just lucky that I met my partner who is nice and loved everything about me. I think maybe it happens for all of us bipolar sufferers like that. It’s just luck we meet a nice person, that has values on how to treat another person.
Oh I met some right people that I had relationships with before my partner. I think I met everything kind of personality disorder there was. lol. I do believe I was used a lot. If someone did like me they just couldn’t handle me, so it always ended bad.
I think this added to bipolar, everything in our lives is just so up and down. With our friends, relationships, it just affects everything..
Having said that I love the quote
“ If you can’t handle me, at my worst. You sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best ”
I believe these are the people in our lives that are true to us that follow this quote, But I haven't had many. That’s why my friends are so limited.
Is there anything we can do?
The problem with me is I am too trusting.
I’ll share a story with you that could of ended so much worst than it did.
I won’t go into great detail, but you will get the jist.
I met another mum from my children’s nursery. we went to her house for a dinner party and we turned the favor.
The night we turned the favor, it all went very wrong.
The person got so hammered she had to sleep in my bed with her son. Her partner walked out and left her and her son at mine.
We put her to bed and her son started crying, she woke up and started hitting him in the face. I took her son away from her, I was just in so much shock by it. She was upstairs alone, and my son started crying.
(It was one of my twins 4 months old)
I was cooling a bottle and he stopped. I just thought he fell back to sleep, but I then all of a sudden I had this awful sick feeling. I ran upstairs to the cot and she had placed a pillow over my son’s head tucked down the side of the mattress. He was struggling to breathe, His poor arms and legs frantically moving up and down.
I never felt so scared in my life. I could of killed her. I rang her partner because she was still hitting her son in my kitchen. They left, I rang the police and social services. Nothing was done about it, they said her son was in a safe place. The police said she didn’t kill my son so there was nothing they could do.
I will never trust anyone again after that, that completely shifted me into meeting new people. I always meet the wrong people, so too safeguard my family. I will never invite people to my house until, I have known them a very long time
That’s how I’m going to make sure I never meet wrong people again,
I like the fact social services are in my life, when I reported a very serious incident in my house. I have no time of day for them after this. I just hope that poor little boy, doesn’t end up seriously hurt because the system failed him.
What are your views on this, have you ever befriended someone and it’s gone so wrong like mine?
I’d like to thank the people that keep returning to read my blog and all the newcomers that have took the time out to read some of my pages, so thank you.